I Can Only Hope~
by Leafeon
Summary: Cute, Fuzzy, Daikeru, it's all synonimous! DaIsuke's uncertain if what he feels for Takeru is mutual, and Hikari seems to be scheming. Oo! Nasty black eye, there, Takeru...Read and find out, what can I say? Daikeru (I mentioned that already) written fr


~I Can Only Hope~  
  
Author's Note (AKA: Leafeon's rant) Urk. Working title, I suppose. Ack. Never was very good at stories where I don't have the title before the story. Then again, to hear many say it, I'm not very good at any other type of story either.(Stop putting your self down!) Annnywayyyy....a lot of people think I can only write humor, (which may be true, read and decide for yourself) so I decided to prove them wrong (Maybe?) by writing a piece of not-quite-so-inane romance. Whew, harder than I thought. Here we go, good or not, you decide, then either pat my back or hit me with a large stick.(Ow. Maybe a flame would be a less painful alternative.) It's a Daikeru, written in Daisuke's POV.  
  
I rolled over, waking up, trying to shake off the depressive apathy that clung to me, along with a sweat-soaked sheets of this unusually hot spring afternoon. Peering blearily at the clock, the luminscent green numbers slowly came into focus. 5:00. Nearly dinner time. Somehow, I didn't care. Which didn't surprise me one bit. I hadn't cared about anything since I came down "sick" 3 days ago.   
Let me get something straight, before any of my few fans get concerned. (Ha!) there isn't anything wrong with me physically.   
"Daisuke, honey, I heard you moving around. Do you want any dinner?"  
Even my normally neglectful parents are concerned. Even I'm getting concerned. I don't eat, I feel miserable, I sleep all the time. (Though some would say that isn't much of a change.)  
"No, Mom. I'll be fine. D-did Takeru bring over my homework?" My voice shook slightly there, I admit it. I can only be thankful my parents are as dense as many people believe I am. Clearing that up, I in fact am not that dense! Okay, so I've done some dumb things, and my grades aren't theat good, but I greatly exaggerate my stupiditity. (not to mention I'm too lazy to do my homework)   
I figure if people think I'm dense or naive, they'll leave me alone. It works, for the most part, but not always. Which is probably how I got to this point.  
"Yeah, he did." My mother placed a small stack of books and papers on my desk, gently pushing away a soccer ball and a two week old turkey sandwich. "Don't do it if you don't feel up to it," she said, then kissed my feverish forehead and left the room.   
I didn't feel up to it, but got up anyway sat at the desk and pulled the lamp chain, though it wasn't really necessary with the sun shining as it was, a sure sign of the summer that was quickly approaching.   
Looking at the math book--no, more looking through it, not really being able to focus on anything, my mind wandered back to what had started my current state of post-rejection depression.   
~~~~  
It all started 4 days ago, when I was sitting down in the cafeteria with Miyako, Hikari and Takeru. I forget what exactly the conversation had started out with (that always happens... you start talking about valentine's day and end up discussing Swedish fish. A/N: I couldn't resist!) but it soon grew to an ugly fight between Miyako and I.   
Isn't it sad? I can't even remember what we were fighting about. All I know is that I made some kind of crude comment about her and Ken, which like always, set her off like a rocket.   
"At least I have feelings, Motamia! You're like some kind of insect! You lack the comprehension to have feelings about anyone!!" she yelled, then walked off in a huff, swinging her violet hair behind her. I could almost see the locks rising up and hissing at me like some kind of modern day Medusa.   
And believe me, had I been Perseus, the first thing I would have done is cut her head off.   
I suppose it was really just something said in passing, not a comment to be taken seriously...but I did, for some reason. I took it to heart and it depressed me.   
No, this was not why I'm sitting here at home now. This was just the tip of the iceburg that sunk the Titanic.   
So I started thinking that night. And when I start to get thinking... you can pretty much assume that the outcome isn't going to be good.   
Not that it was easy for me to think (no cracks, c'est vou plait) with Chibimon jumping on my bed and eating pizza at the same time. It was getting really hard to explain the stains on my ceiling anymore.  
Crunching moodily on a piece of pizza, I wondered if Miyako was right. Was I really that insensitive? Didn't I have feelings for anyone?  
Now, the reader at this point is saying, 'What about your shameless flirtation with Hikari? You literally drool over the poor girl.'   
Easy, another one of my facades. What better way to look like a dolt then to crush majorly on some girl who you have absolutely no chance with? Sometimes my normally useless talent of being able to blush on command comes in handy.  
Then...was she right? Was I just some kind of insect? I ran a mental check of every girl in my class, then every girl I knew, then every girl I had even heard of, but not a single name or face lit even a spark. Was I empty inside?  
Like it always did when I had conflicts of the heart, my subconcious started to bob small hints to my concious that I was definately not empty, but like always, I shove them back down, trying to ignore them, telling myself they were wrong, but never quite beleiving that myself.   
That was because all the hints pointed to one person as the object of my affection.   
Takeru.   
Now, I see all the readers choking similtainiously on their coffee, going 'Takeru? The arch rival Takeru? The commonly referred to as T.A. Takeru?'  
Yep. Something in those baby-blue eyes of his stirred something up in me that defied convention. I hid it well, judging by the way everyone (even TA himself) thinks we hate each other. Part of me was glad of my fine-hued acting skills, making sure that no one knew, that no one could brand me or stereotype me, or spread rumors or ecetera, but the other part was disgusted at my cowardice, at the way I hid how I felt, the way I'd never know if the mind behind those blue eyes shared my feelings.   
Aggg. What a coward I was. I hated myself all that night. Hated myself and loved someone hopelessly. A million ways to tell Takeru were concocted and trashed, a million times I tried to deny myself.   
That morning I woke, and a new determination rose in me. I'd tell him. I had to, otherwise I'd probably end up killing myself, and then where would the world be?  
How stupid I was, to even hope. Hope. Heh, how ironic.   
That day was the longest of my entire life, even longer than the day that I had trashed Jun's room and was awaiting retribution. My heart raced the entire day, with anticipation. Finally, in the hall, I saw Takeru.  
"TK!" I shouted, waving my hands around. I was wound up like a spring.   
"Hey! " he said, walking over. "I see you finally remembered my name." He smiled, turning those bright blue eyes to half moons as he laughed.   
Remember it? I held it in the very depths of my heart!  
"Can-Can you come over today? I need to talk" His face turned serious, then gentle and concerned.   
"Yeah. Hey, no problem. See you." I watched him as he dissappeared into the seething mass of children that was perpetually middle school.   
Sigh. Miyako was right. I am an idiot.   
The rest of that day was torture. I dragged my feet through math, English, and gym, until sweet, sweet freedom came with that three o'clock bell.   
I expected Takeru to come over to my house after school, but instead he ran and caught up to me as I started to walk home.   
"Daisuke! Hey," he said, shoving me playfully.   
"Hey, Takeru...Why don't we go to the park?"   
"Yeah, cool. So what's your prob?"   
Slowly, we walked through the park paths, and my cowardice came rushing back. I beat around the bush with the all-popular phony hypothetical example. I don't know why people even use them any more. It should be rather obvious at this point that whenever someone is explaining a hypothetical probelm, it pertains to either the person in question, the person they sought out for guidence, or both.   
Takeru, of course, is a complete innocent and didn't even have a clue.   
"Well....There's this person I like, see," I said, as we passed trees in bud. It couldn't have been a better day, with bright blue skies starting to fade to red and oranges and streaks of purple beautiful as if they had painted by a master artist.   
"And they don't really know about it..." I continued, as the object of my affection nodded sagely.   
" And I'm afraid to tell hi--them(I quickly corrected) because--  
"You're afraid of the rejection?" he said, trying to console me. Maybe he knew? I couldn't keep my heart from leaping.   
"Yeah. And I don't want to lose them as a friend in case it weirds them out." I think all the sweating I'd been doing had short-circuited my brain, because I wasn't thinking very clearly at that point. I had assumed that he knew, and judging from his not-weirded out reaction, that he was okay with that. But you know what they say when you assume. (makes an ass out of u and me)  
I plopped down onto the bench, and began sobbing quietly. Takeru followed my example and put his arm around my shoulders. His contact burned through me, but not in a bad way.   
"I know, " he said, "Hikari can be one tough chick."   
What!?!?! Boom! That one went through me like a ton of bricks. Hell with subtle hints, time for Plan B. I had no idea what Plan B was, but I'd figure I'd ab-lib.   
Takeru sighed. "But I think you should just be honest with her. If she's a true friend, she'll understand."  
I just sobbed harder. Some holder of the crest of courage! What would Tai think??   
Takeru was completly sympathetic. Ignoring the strange stares, he gave me a hug, trying to get me to stop crying.   
Bingo! An Improv's dream. Plan B in action in 5..4...  
"It's going to be Ok, really Daisuke."  
3...2...1...As I slowly pulled away from him, I whispered, "I wasn't talking about Hikari..." then gave him a kiss on his soft cheek.  
His eyes widened in... what was it? Surprise? Horror? Disgust? He pushed me away quickly, but obviously didn't judge his own strength, and sent me crashing into a conviently positioned tree.   
My face burned, from both embarassment, anger, and the deep scrape I accquired while making a quick accquiantance with Mr.Tree.   
"I'm sorry." I said, pitifully, as my famous gravity-defying fell over my face. "I didn't have any right. I should have known better."  
I ran, tears streaming down my face, leaving Takeru staring straight ahead, his mouth slightly agape.   
~~  
And that's it. The whole sordid affair. Now I sit here, brooding for 3 entire days. Everyone thinks I come down with some kind of flu...but I just can't seem to make myself care about anything.   
Plus I have no idea if Takeru told anyone. Did the whole school know? When I got my courage (ha! like I really deserve that crest) up to return to school and face him, would he hate me? Would I be faced with jeering crowds? Would someone tell my parents?   
I shuddered. I wasn't really sure what would happen if they knew, but it wouldn't be good.   
Takeru couldn't be too mad at me. He still brought by my homework. Or was he just being polite? I couldn't be sure.   
Why me? was the only question I kept asking, tears constantly coming and going, intermited with bursts of anger at no one in particular that left me fatiuged.   
The phone rang, making me jump in my frazzled state. Someone to jeer at me? Some bigot to threaten?  
"Hello?" I said, carefully.   
"Daisuke?! Oh thank God!!" It was Miyako and she sound desperate and frustrated.   
"What's wrong, Miyako?" She didn't sound like she knew.   
"First off, I'm really sorry, I shouldn't have called you an insect...but you were being a jerk."  
"hm" Pity was not what I needed.   
"Listen, I know that you're sick, but we really, really need some one to do the drinks at the dance tonight"  
Right. I had almost forgot, the big spring fling was tonight.  
"And I've called everyone, but no one's answering. We are totally desperate."  
It seemed pretty safe that she didn't know, and it was safe to say if Miss Medusa-queen-of-the-gossip-Gorgons didn't know, no one did. And she had really sounded sorry. Plus, I can't go on like this. I battled briefly, then agreed.   
"Yeah, sure. I'm really not that sick. I'll be there in a couple of minutes."  
"Oh, god, Daisuke, my hero! I'd kiss you if you weren't sick."  
I hung up. Humph, I had enough bad experience with kisses lately. My hand went up to the scraped section of my face. I'd told my Mom that I got in a fight, but I'd say that it would be pretty hard to scrape someone up like that in a fight.   
Dragging on some decent clothes, (I'd been in boxer shorts) and a coat, I left a small note for my family. Under normal circumstances, they wouldn't have a clue I'd left, but they'd actually been kind of concerned. A nice gesture, but I'd been way too depressed to notice.   
I slipped out the door and walked quickly to school. Would Takeru be there? That look of suprise (horror?) kept flashing in my mind. I just had this terrible, empty feeling. I guess that's what they mean by heart broken.  
I walked in the almost empty gymnasium (The dance hadn't started yet) and Miyako ran up to me in her usual, flamboyant manner, dragging poor Iori behind her.   
"You're a mess." She said critically. Not really what I need to hear. She patted and smoothed down my clothes, then turned her head to appraise.   
"You'll do."  
"Thanks," I said, heavy sarcasm dripping in my voice like an ice-cream cone in July. Miyako didn't notice. Yeesh, and she said I was dense.   
She set me up in a booth in the corner with a built in bar. No alcohol. Damn, I could have used some.   
As the dancers slowly filed in, I saw the guys and gals as they came together, arm in arm. It didn't exactly sicken me...more like made me jealous and even more empty. Then something appeared that made me sick. Literally. I had to hold vomit back(great visual, isn't it?)  
Hikari came in, her usual bubbly, naturally evervensent self. I say, if you want efferevesence, get some Alka-Seltzer.   
What sickened me was that she was leading Takeru along like some kind of sappy puppy. The fact that he didn't look to happy about it only occured to me in the slightest degree. If I was Attila the Hun, this place would be in ashes, man.   
After a few songs I absolutely seethed through, the vomit-inducing duo came over to get some drinks.   
I tried not to look at them as I got their drinks.   
"I thought you were sick, Daisuke," Hikari said, bubbly as a glass of cheap champange.   
"Urk," I said, unable to get any more out with out strangling some one. As I handed Takeru his drink, my eyes drifted up and locked with his.   
They weren't hateful, or sickened. If anything, they were apologetic. Feh.   
They walked away, but I noticed how Hikari carefully kept him close to the booth. A slow song started and though I hated it, I couldn't quite keep my stare off them as she wrapped her arms around him. It was small consolation that he appeared uncomfortable. Then it happened.   
If I said I was sickened before, I apoligize. Now I was sickened. And that was the understatement of the known chonos of time.   
Hikari brought him down and gave him a smooth, passionate kiss. I was enraged, and I'll admit I got a bit blood-lustful.  
Nearly tearing off the saloon-style doors of the booth, I streaked over to the scene of the crime and literally dragged Takeru off by his ear, out the gym door into the courtyard.   
"OwwOwwOwww!!!!" Takeru yelled "What's the big idea" He twisted around until he could see his captor.  
I just grunted, I couldn't think of what to say.   
"I get it, " he snarled, his face a way I had never seen it before. "You're jealous!"  
I nearly went beserk. "Jealous!? Jealous!?" I gave him a punch in the face, guarentting the blond boy a nasty shiner. As he fell, I followed him, wrestling him to the ground and getting into a rather akward position as I straddled him, but I was seeing red and not noticing much of anything.   
"How could I be jealous of you, you-you-you--" I couldn't think of what to call him. Bigot? Idiot?   
"I didn't mean me. I meant Hikari" he smiled in a naughty-but-nice way, and pulled me down, giving me a kiss I'll never forget. Having tounges plural in my mouth was a new sensation, to be sure, but I was enjoying it. It was only then I noticed we were sprawled out on the ground in the courtyard, and more than half the school had followed us out. I didn't care, and even as they stared, we didn't break the kiss.   
"Boys, boys," came a voice from the bushes. Hikari came sauntering out , Miyako embracing her. "Show some modesty. You're on Kari's Candid Camera!"  
She smiled so wide I thought her face would split, and flashed her camera.   
Finally pulling slowly away, I looked into those big blue eyes that now looked at me in innocence and love. Or at least the one eye that was looking at me like that. The other was swelling rapidly.   
Helping him up, I whispered, "I'm sorry, Takeru. You're going to have quite a black eye."  
"I'm sorry too," he said, his voice no more than a wisp on the breeze.   
Hikari and Miyako went and played peace officers, clearing out the crowds that were standing around. "Nothing to see here!" "Be on your way!"  
"B-but Takeru...How?" I said, sinking into a bench. He smiled gently, putting his arm around me again, like he did in the park.   
"When you kissed me...I wasn't disgusted, just surprised." his eyes got a faraway look. "You don't know how long I waited from some sign from you." He put a soft hand on the scrape on my cheek. "I guess you got me back for that, huh?"  
"Now we match," I said quietly.  
"Well, I sat there and thought about it, and relized just how much I loved you. When you didn't come to school...I was so worried. So..."  
Hikari came up, still smiling madly. "I concocted quite a nice little plan, eh?"  
I was stunned. That hadn't looked like a fake kiss. And Takeru ceratainly looked miserable.  
"TK here, of course, was completly clueless. Me and Miyako planned the whole thing," Hikari said, and flashed her camera "And I got it all on film."  
"S-so...You don't like Takeru?" That whole sappy bit was an act? Give the girl an Oscar! Then again, hadn't I done much the same thing?  
"No, of course she doesn't, " Miayako said, then bent to give Hikari a quick kiss. Ah, it all became clear now. No wonder my unfounded comments about her and Ken had set Miyako off. Hikari brushed her hand through that purple, now snakeless hair.   
I looked back into the gymnasium. The throngs of people who had just saw what had happen were waiting in there. "What is everyone going to think?" I asked, wondering.  
"Do you care?" Takeru asked, helping me up.   
I smiled. "No."  
The four of us walked bravely into that dance, into a world that may or may no accept us. Two girls, two guys, two couples, though not the conventional ones. That had been the weirdest week in my entire life, but going in, my arm around Takeru, nothing could possibly be better.   
~THE END~  
  
Phew. I'm always so...let down when I finish a story. I like it though. And I can only hope that you do too. And 'Ha!' to all those people who thought I could only write crass humor! Well, rave me or flame me, be a nice person and review, Kay? I thrive on feedback. It's like vannila pudding, white and squishy...Oh, yeah, and if you liked this, check out my fairly long (urg, 28 pages...) but incredibly fuzzy Kensuke fic called ~Up the River Without a Paddle~ There's just something about Ken, Daisuke, and Takeru, I don't care how they are put together, they make for some incredible fuzz power! Yeehaw! (not sure where that came from..) Anyway, here's to me, Leafeon, I've written a non-humorous fic, and if you want to lavish me in compliments, or give a crack at writing my epitaph, drop me a line at Leafeon@bolt.com.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



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